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Nancy McG in the UKV

by LilySchaffer

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Dear Ukrainian landlord, I'm sorry I had sex so loud the walls are just really thin here I swear I'll try to keep it down Dear Ukrainian landlord, I promise I will buy a gag I know you're trying to watch Matlock I'm not judging you for that you know what I mean, it's hard that's a double entendre you know what I mean, it's hard to rhyme anything with double entendre Dear Ukrainian landlord, I'm sorry I had sex so loud the walls are just really thin here I swear I'll try to keep it down Dear Ukrainian landlord, I didn't mean to keep you up so late it's just that I have a weird schedule, like Mondays I have scrabble Tuesdays I'm in a pool league Thursdays I host this open mic I usually go out on the weekends........ you know what I mean, it's hard that's a double entendre you know what I mean, it's hard to rhyme anything with double entendre Dear Ukrainian landlord, I'm sorry I had sex so loud the walls are just really thin here I swear I'll try to keep it down
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all of your friends think you're the bee's knees but you sleep alone at night suffocating between the sheets planning your next great masterpiece with ego in tow, you go running around like you own the place I'll just wait until you fall on your face you and your high bred coterie your upturned noses, no Guns n' Roses flattery, just battery I can see why you're mad at me your idiocy is like a venereal disease spreading like wildfire amongst your peers here's three cheers to my apathy I can see why you're mad at me I don't want you that thought haunts you you can go weep in your skinny jeans catalog this in your symphony yeah, I can see why you're mad at me
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you started with good intentions you had all of your white lines drawn like a road trip through your indiscretions you keep on trucking on but all the people that you know can see from miles away fucking up is just as easy as someone changing lanes and they say: oh oh oh; she's a terrible girl I thought I was treading lightly or at least staying afloat but my problem's growing mountainous I've built myself a moat and all the people that I know keep their distance now what I touch just turns to stone a sculpture in a glass house and they say: oh, oh, oh; what a terrible girl I can tell by your demeanor you don't mean any harm you should tell by my subtle candor that I'm ringing the alarm all the people that I've loved don't come out unscathed you better run, it's just no fun or worth the exposé oh, oh, oh; I'm a terrible girl
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my little brother says the world is good and that we just need a little shove I turn the other cheek, I say it’s cold and it’s dark, and it’s hard to survive. but my mom think that I need to see a therapist my dad thinks that I am an embarrassment I tell them that it’s just not fair of them to condemn me because assholes are everywhere, there’s nothing I can do I’ve tried to ignore it, but it’s bleak, and I’m blue and there’s nothing you can say that won’t make me cry so I might as well just shrivel up and die My little brother thinks we have a chance if we’d just get our heads in the right places I turn the other cheek, I say we’re damned if there’s a god, we’ve fallen out of his graces but my mom says, “Lily, you have such great hair!” and my dad says nothing ‘cause he’s not there so I mope around the house in my underwear what the fuck else am I supposed to do? because assholes are everywhere, there’s nothing I can do I’ve tried to ignore it, but it’s bleak, and I’m blue and there’s nothing you can say that won’t make me cry so I might as well just shrivel up and die
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I took a klonopin, rewrote my history salvaged what was left you can't imagine how my rock bottom is semi soft at best still I'm an emblem, the human condition destined to retrace steps how I've forgotten the system is rotten there's mold on the crumbs I've left as I take these fatal steps, creeping to my awesome death I can't say that I'll regret never having proved my pain if you can't hear a cry for help, you must have drowned inside yourself mistaking muffled moans for stealth, I'm not going to try again.
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about

Her name was Magil, and she called herself Lil, but everyone knew her as Nancy in the black hole that was her 20's. You can find Nancy McG elsewhere if you try hard enough.

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released January 1, 2010

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LilySchaffer Washington, D.C.

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